Don't be mad, but...
Success is not only measured by the length of time we stand our ground, the hours put in, or the sacrifices we make. Success is measured by how close you have come to YOUR personal goals, in business, and life. It’s measured by how happy you are with the outcome of a project or the status of you current situation. Sometimes to be the most successful in our endeavors we must throw our hand up from a situation, walk away, and simply QUIT. Now I know the stigma behind quitting, and how it is portrayed as the hallmark of failure. I call BS! The most successful people are often those who have mastered the art of quitting, knowing when to say, "Enough!" They know when to pack up and move on to greener pastures, leaving behind barren lands that no longer serve their goals.
This isn't merely about business or entrepreneurship; this is about life. It's about knowing when to end a draining relationship when to change a stubborn mindset, or when to abandon an ineffective work strategy. The ability to quit and pivot, leverage experiences, identify new trends, and seize new information, is a game-changer! The ultimate question is, “How will I know when to quit?”
Knowing When to Hold 'Em
It's vital to emphasize that this isn't an invitation to quit at the first sign of struggle. Persistence and determination are the lifeblood of success. But, there are two sides to that coin, and the other side is understanding when to walk away. If you're trying to open a locked door and the key doesn't fit, no matter how much you jiggle and jam that key, it won't magically change its shape and open the door. Recognize when you're dealing with the wrong key, and have the courage to try a different one.
Steven Bartlett, author and host of “The Diary of a CEO.” Breaks down the quitting framework in his new book “Happy, Sexy Millionaire”. This is a flow diagram that can also help you recognize when to stick it out. Starting with “Are you thinking about quitting? Why?” If it is just hard, is the challenge worth the payoff in the end? If Yes, don't quit. If it’s because “It just sucks.” Do you believe you could make it not suck? If Yes, “Is the effort it would take to make it not suck worth the payoff in the end?” If yes, don’t quit! If you answered “No” to any of these questions, you will want to read on!
The Signposts of Stagnation
If you're feeling like a hamster on a wheel, running with all your might and yet staying in the same spot, you are experiencing stagnation, my friend. When progress halts and monotony settles in, it's a glaring sign that it's time to reassess your situation. Just like a fresh coat of paint can't fix a crumbling wall, new tactics can't save a dead-end endeavor. If your story isn't unfolding the way you want, then maybe it's time to change the narrative through action, not just dialogue.
Just as Einstein says, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. When we continue to follow the same routines, habits, and thought patterns, we end up with the same results and the same feelings at the end of the day.
Did you know that 95% of the thoughts we have in a day are the same as the ones before? This is because 95% of the time we are operating in an unconscious, auto-pilot state. So if we are having the same thoughts, and doing the same things, and we are unhappy with our life circumstances, our careers, relationships, or our financial goals; It would make sense that we would need to consciously shift away from these thoughts and actions, and align our selves with a brand new set of beliefs and systems.
Trust Your Gut
Your gut instinct, or intuition, is one of your most powerful tools. It's like your own internal compass, guiding you when your brain is lost in a fog of details, analysis, and logic. When something feels off, it usually is. So, listen to that soft but powerful voice in your gut that's telling you to move on—it's much wiser than we give it credit for. This is linked to a lack of trust in ourselves, and our decisions.
The difference between intuition and anxiety can be hard to distinguish. Especially without practice. Like a muscle, you can exercise your intuition. What I have learned about my own intuition is that it is a soft, whisper from inside. It is like a gentle parent nudging you in the right direction with love and protection. Whereas anxiety screams. It screams at us to WAIT! To play it safe, to not take risks, to not let go of something so secure. It tells us that we are incapable, or that we don’t make good decisions, so we should just follow the crowd instead.
When we hear this desperate voice screaming from inside to play it safe, we can feel comforted in knowing, it's our Ego, trying to keep us safe from the unknown that lies ahead. It’s that part of our brain that used to remind us not to turn our back and let our guard down, in the event of a tiger attack. - Remember, your intuition is your superpower; don't be afraid to use it!
When Opportunity Knocks
New opportunities can be a beacon, guiding you to the exit door of your current situation. If you're feeling stuck but an exciting new chance presents itself, don't be afraid to take it. As they say, if opportunity doesn't knock, build a door. And if a door appears, don't shy away. Step through it with confidence. After all, the grass might not always be greener on the other side, but at least it's a different shade, and who knows, you might just prefer it!
Not being ashamed to quit allows us to be open to the possibilities and opportunities in everything we do. New potential storylines are forming with every new connection, every time you open your phone and every time you walk out the door in the morning. So why close ourselves off to these possibilities by sticking our heads down and saying to the universe, “I'm good, I know what this path looks like, so I’ll just trip down it for the rest of my life until I die, Thanks!”
The Cost of Clinging
There's a cost to clinging too tightly to something, be it a job, a relationship, or a viewpoint, like holding onto a rose too tightly. It was uncomfortable at first, but your hand has become used to the pain of the thorns digging in. It doesn't seem like a big deal until you slowly bleed out. Holding on can be comfortable, but comfort rarely equates to growth and happiness. Our comfort zone is merely where we can predict the outcome, it is what's familiar. To truly grow, and feel fulfilled, we need to step out of our comfort zones, and sometimes, that means letting go of the things we hold dear.
In life, we become blind to the thoughts and routines we have that are unconscious. They simply play out the same way again and again. Most people will not quit something they know is hurting them until they have a backup in place. They wait for a new job to be lined up, a new potential relationship (cringy, please don't do this.) They wait for a new set of friends before dropping those who have kept them repeating unhealthy patterns for years. These things will never come in to rescue us, if we are not putting our time and energy into actively seeking them out, taking action, and gaining momentum toward these goals. Until we create space in our lives for these new energies to come in, they will have nowhere to settle. So to create space for these opportunities we must let go of something else.
Final Thoughts
Take a moment to reflect on your life. What are you holding onto that's holding you back? Is there something you need to say goodbye to, to say hello to something better? Remember, the only thing you should never quit is quitting itself (when it's necessary). Be brave, be bold, and never be afraid to let go and leap into the unknown. Because, as they say, every exit is an entry somewhere else.
Now I’m not saying to get completely delusional. If you have a family and people who rely on you, it's much easier to say than do when it comes to a career or a long-term relationship. Refer to Steven Bartlett's quitting framework when you start to feel the need to quit. If it turns out that it's the best option for you, you can at least start taking action to remove yourself from whatever the situation and move closer to your new destination. It doesn't have to be cold turkey!
So It’s time to quit the stigma around quitting! Remember, successful people quit all the time. They quit jobs, habits, mindsets, and even relationships that no longer serve them. And they're better off for it. Part of me thinks “they” have created a stigma around quitting so we all stay stuck in our depressing lives, and wear it as a badge of honor for how dedicated to being miserable we are. At the same time, they are off-seizing new opportunities! So, embrace the art of quitting. Because when one door closes, another one opens, but only if you're brave enough to let the first one shut.